Post by vanilleoud9 on Jun 12, 2023 17:44:33 GMT
I need to get this off my chest because it has been consuming my thougths since May. I keep replaying events in my head and thinking about what I should have done. It has been triggering my emotions to the point where I burst out in tears when I try to explain how it made me feel. I am a univeristy student from London currently in foundation year, I started in january which where I met this indiviual as we are in the same class. Shortly after meeting this indiviual he has been sexually harrasing me for 5 months. So this person 'A' was supposed to be my friend but it wasn't clicking his head despite me repeating myself.
Welcome day 12th Jan: A asked me to be his girlfriend because he can tell I am good person despite the fact I met him that day. I turned it down and told him I'm not ready for a relationship and I want to focus on studying only. We agreed we would be friends.
A would keep making propositions of a relationship talking about the future even though we are strictly friends which I turned it down multiple times.
Flirt obnoxiously with other girls in front of me and the next second would tell me we are going to be together as if it was reassuring. I didn't care, want to hear or know that because I was not interested in that possibility.
A kept asking me to go to his house to smoke with him alone, I said no multiple times and had to make excuses to not go.
Made comments about other girls bums to me and mine which got me angry, so I stormed off after he made a nasty look to me while describing my body to someone on the phone.
Point out to girls in uni that he wanted to have sex with, to me. I told him to stop everything that's in your head.
Showed me sex-tapes of him and multiple other girls and would describe them in detail about it. I told him I didn't want to hear it several had to turn my head, forcefully distract myself to avoid watching it but he kept telling me to watch it.
Told me he gets jealous when I talk to other guys, I told him there's nothing I can do about that. It was bad to the point he would make crude comments such as 'I'll make you call me daddy' in front of other three people. I was so disgusted and felt violated and embarrassed. I told him that it will never happen. After this he told me he gets jealous when I talk to other guys.
16th May: I saved a seat for him; he came in late sat in front me. During class, he told me to move and sit next to him. I told him to sit next to me because I saved a seat. He began to get frustrated because I wouldn't move. Another classmate told him to let me sit where I want. During lunchtime ,he told me someone dm'ed on social media and said that he should marry me. I exclaimed What and Who? and proceeded to roll my eyes. During break, I went to another class to talk to my friend (male). Me, A and two other classmates were on our way home and ran back to say goodbye to my friend (male) from a different class. I got to the lifts and A seemed annoyed/angry. He didn't speak to me the rest of walk to the station. The train came, he said hugged and said bye to the classmate, nothing to me. The classmate asked him why he didn't say bye to me then he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. I was shocked so I just jumped on the train as it arrived.
He also asked my friend 'M' who lives with her boyfriend and infant child if he can come over to her place at midnight as well as sending her sexual messages describing what he wanted to do to her. 'I will like to play with it while we f*ck hard and make you c*m'.
After telling my mum and friends about they have been concerned and told me to report it. I held off on it because I really thought it would stop. I reported him on the 17th May and univeristy suspended A for two weeks. During the two weeks, they took witness statements from me, M , other classmates and A. The university concluded by giving him a warning and probation and they let him come back to school as well as my class. I wasn't in when he came back as I was working however M told me that he immediately went to telling other classmates that I lied about everything, calling me an idiot for reporting me and about how he got his stepmother involved. As well as other classmates agreeing with him and calling me a liar to the point where M told them the same thing happened to her. Mind you, hes not angry at her, he even told her to lie on her statement so he can look innocent. When I came into the next class, not one person said anything. The two girls who are friends of his I confided in about the whole 'C' and 'Am' told me that they would have confronted him about it if they have known earlier and C told me to get her number so I could talk to her about anything. Lo and behold, C and Am have both turned on me since A came back, couldn't even make eye contact with me.
As much as I am trying to deal with it in a calm way, I can't help but feel all eyes on me and the fact that so many people have turned on me. I have my friends and mum's support but I can help but feel scared and alone. I am stuck in a cycle of self doubt and anxious thoughts. His charisma and smear campaign against me has me wondering what I done to people to make them believe I would ever lie about this. I tried to get help and I feel let down greatly by the classmates, by the university, which is why I was represssing this for so long. I could not handle the unhinged behaviours anymore. I didn't even know the behaviours were sexual harrasment until my friend told me a week prior to reporting it. That was when I realised the sereveity of what I have been put through. Am I wrong for even reporting this? Why would people believe I could lie about this? I feel like I am going crazy.
Welcome day 12th Jan: A asked me to be his girlfriend because he can tell I am good person despite the fact I met him that day. I turned it down and told him I'm not ready for a relationship and I want to focus on studying only. We agreed we would be friends.
A would keep making propositions of a relationship talking about the future even though we are strictly friends which I turned it down multiple times.
Flirt obnoxiously with other girls in front of me and the next second would tell me we are going to be together as if it was reassuring. I didn't care, want to hear or know that because I was not interested in that possibility.
A kept asking me to go to his house to smoke with him alone, I said no multiple times and had to make excuses to not go.
Made comments about other girls bums to me and mine which got me angry, so I stormed off after he made a nasty look to me while describing my body to someone on the phone.
Point out to girls in uni that he wanted to have sex with, to me. I told him to stop everything that's in your head.
Showed me sex-tapes of him and multiple other girls and would describe them in detail about it. I told him I didn't want to hear it several had to turn my head, forcefully distract myself to avoid watching it but he kept telling me to watch it.
Told me he gets jealous when I talk to other guys, I told him there's nothing I can do about that. It was bad to the point he would make crude comments such as 'I'll make you call me daddy' in front of other three people. I was so disgusted and felt violated and embarrassed. I told him that it will never happen. After this he told me he gets jealous when I talk to other guys.
16th May: I saved a seat for him; he came in late sat in front me. During class, he told me to move and sit next to him. I told him to sit next to me because I saved a seat. He began to get frustrated because I wouldn't move. Another classmate told him to let me sit where I want. During lunchtime ,he told me someone dm'ed on social media and said that he should marry me. I exclaimed What and Who? and proceeded to roll my eyes. During break, I went to another class to talk to my friend (male). Me, A and two other classmates were on our way home and ran back to say goodbye to my friend (male) from a different class. I got to the lifts and A seemed annoyed/angry. He didn't speak to me the rest of walk to the station. The train came, he said hugged and said bye to the classmate, nothing to me. The classmate asked him why he didn't say bye to me then he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. I was shocked so I just jumped on the train as it arrived.
He also asked my friend 'M' who lives with her boyfriend and infant child if he can come over to her place at midnight as well as sending her sexual messages describing what he wanted to do to her. 'I will like to play with it while we f*ck hard and make you c*m'.
After telling my mum and friends about they have been concerned and told me to report it. I held off on it because I really thought it would stop. I reported him on the 17th May and univeristy suspended A for two weeks. During the two weeks, they took witness statements from me, M , other classmates and A. The university concluded by giving him a warning and probation and they let him come back to school as well as my class. I wasn't in when he came back as I was working however M told me that he immediately went to telling other classmates that I lied about everything, calling me an idiot for reporting me and about how he got his stepmother involved. As well as other classmates agreeing with him and calling me a liar to the point where M told them the same thing happened to her. Mind you, hes not angry at her, he even told her to lie on her statement so he can look innocent. When I came into the next class, not one person said anything. The two girls who are friends of his I confided in about the whole 'C' and 'Am' told me that they would have confronted him about it if they have known earlier and C told me to get her number so I could talk to her about anything. Lo and behold, C and Am have both turned on me since A came back, couldn't even make eye contact with me.
As much as I am trying to deal with it in a calm way, I can't help but feel all eyes on me and the fact that so many people have turned on me. I have my friends and mum's support but I can help but feel scared and alone. I am stuck in a cycle of self doubt and anxious thoughts. His charisma and smear campaign against me has me wondering what I done to people to make them believe I would ever lie about this. I tried to get help and I feel let down greatly by the classmates, by the university, which is why I was represssing this for so long. I could not handle the unhinged behaviours anymore. I didn't even know the behaviours were sexual harrasment until my friend told me a week prior to reporting it. That was when I realised the sereveity of what I have been put through. Am I wrong for even reporting this? Why would people believe I could lie about this? I feel like I am going crazy.
Some people get immense joy from seeing they are having an affect on others, don't give them that satisfaction. 
hope we are all enjoying a brill weekend, will catch up later xx
who is going through the mill at the mo, wishing you a very speedy recovery Trisha big luv 
storm brewing, must get me cauldron out 
